Sunday, November 1, 2009

Burnout

I have to be honest. I love my class this year. My students are great, the class size in manageable, my colleagues are amazing, but I really can't stand my administration. I have gotten to the point where I can't even be in the same room as any of the administrators. I just have no respect for them and that is a bad place to be as a teacher. I'm afraid that if we are in the same room, I won't be able to hold back and I'll call them out on their BS.

I have more experience than them (and this is only my 5th year), more education, and a much better grasp of the curriculum. I really feel that my administration offers me nothing this year and I can see right through them. They are so full of it I can't even bear it and they do NOTHING for our children. My students do not even know who any of them even are. They think the principal is the woman who is actually our AP, but they don't know her name, they just call her, "The principal lady." No administrator has been to my classroom this year. They have NO IDEA what I am doing with my students, but they keep putting more and more demands on us, demands that have nothing to do with a quality of education. They demand things of us that THEY are accountable for, but they don't even understand them themselves.

This is the first year I haven't finished my reading assessments by report card time and it's because of my administration. They keep wasting our preps with stupid PD given to us by our less than reputable colleagues who need to fill THEIR schedules (my problem? NO!!!).

There is so much miscommunication, I feel like I am totally out of compliance when it comes to the curriculum I am using (even though I LOVE what I am teaching and I know what to teach). They ordered a lot of new stuff this year that came slowly and in pieces and without training. It all just seems like a waste of money. I have boxes of workbooks that belong to programs I can't even use. Some of them are not even for my grade level, but I was told to hold them in my room. All this and we don't even have the math books we need. I have had to photocopy Math Steps this year because we don't have enough.

There have been so many instances in which I have tried to help my administration, but it always turns out bad because they don't follow through and I feel totally used and guilty later for having even been a part of something that turned out so wrong.

I guess I am just dreading the faculty conference tomorrow. I just can't stand to look at any of them. My colleagues also kind of make me mad at these things because they act like sheep just going along with things that make no sense or just arguing about stupid points that have nothing to do with the general incompetence of those in charge. They don't question at all. I guess I'll just go to it and keep my mouth shut and try not to make eye contact.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

AHHH! I feel your pain and couldn't agree with you more. We've had more useless meetings this year than ever before, and NONE of our admin could handle a classroom position. Useless, completely useless!

peace in the classroom said...

I ended up walking out of our "faculty conference" because no administrator was even present. We ended up doing a training by a cluster teacher. I couldn't deal, so I walked out.

tchr33 said...

Unbelievable!!