Thursday, December 30, 2010

Not sure what to do... I guess this is goodbye

A couple of things have happened over the last couple of weeks and I haven't quite figured out what to do about them. The first thing is that my cover was blown. A colleague from my new school figured out somehow that this blog belongs to me. I guess I wasn't careful and divulged too much specific information that was easily traceable back to me. I always figured that there were enough teachers in the system that no one would suspect, but it happened. Luckily it wasn't a big deal and it wasn't an administrator and it wasn't anyone from my old school, but it does change things for me. Although this person is a trusted colleague, I'm not sure how comfortable I feel blogging freely about my experiences knowing that I'm not anonymous anymore.

Another factor is that I founded this blog as a way to deal with the stress of teaching at my previous school. I'm happy and content at my new school and no longer feel the responsibility to expose the problems in "the system." I'll pass that torch to others. I'm not exposed to them myself anymore in the same raw and vulnerable way. Teaching doesn't feel like this uphill battle anymore and that tag I always used "the weight of the world," I don't feel it anymore. It's sad how varied schools can be within the same system, but I honestly do not feel like I'm teaching in the same broken system. My new school continues to be a dream for me. I'm trying new things, learning a lot, and feel inspired and energized once again as a teacher. Maybe it's time to say goodbye to this blog and perhaps I'll start a new one someday, not anonymously, but a blog or a wiki for my class to use, for the parents to use, for all to see. Maybe the new blog will be a way to document some of the research I want to do on integrating multiple native languages into a sheltered ESL classroom.

Thank you all for reading over the past few years. Your support has kept me in the profession. You have encouraged me to try new things, to keep my chin up when things were looking bad, and most of all you shared your own experiences with me and made me feel like I wasn't alone in the struggle.

Maybe we'll meet again. I won't stop blogging, but I most likely will not be back here on this blog. In a few days, the blog might disappear from the public and be archived for my own personal use. Maybe someday I'll write a book about it all.

To all the teachers that are out there fighting the good fight, you are all making a difference in someone's life. Maybe you won't be able to single-handedly change the system as a whole, but you are changing the lives of the students in your class and they will always remember you.

Farewell and good luck to you all.

Ms. Peace

Note: Gotham Schools, please do not link to this post.


Capt. Schmoe said...

Well, ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

I have enjoyed reading your blog, it has provided me insight into some of the issues that teachers have to deal with.

I hope that you continue to blog, even if it is another form. If you do decide to keep writing and you think it's something that a grizzled old fire captain might be interested in reading, please leave a comment on my blog so I can check it out.

Best of luck to you, thanks again.

A MilShelb Mom said...

I've loved reading your blog and knowing that I am not alone in the crazy world of public education! Enjoy your new school and less worries!

Mamie said...

I've really enjoyed your blog; I connected to much of what you said through my own experiences teaching in two large urban districts on the west coast. Like you, I am now in a much better situation, and I understand not feeling the "press" to write in the same way.

I'll miss your voice, though. Good luck in the future, classroom-wise and writing-wise.

Infinity said...

wow, I am sorry that you were found out but I am happy that you have found your place and your happiness. Being a new teacher reading your blog has really helped me a lot! I even started my own blog
I don't blog as often as I'd like because I am always so exhausted but I have made a conscious effort to read your blog so that way I do not feel alone with my struggles.

Thanks for your insight and best of luck to you.

God Bless-