Let's all pat ourselves on the back... or not.

So, I was watching the local news today and they were making a big deal about how the city's school report cards are out. Naturally, I went to the DOE website and looked up my school. We got an A. Now as seasoned teacher in the city system, we know that these grades don't necessarily mean a whole lot. It just means that your school's test scores were applied to an ever-changing formula involving AYP (annual yearly progress), minority groups, minority groups in the lowest third percentile, special education students, etc., and out comes a magical letter grade that could mean the difference between getting a pat on the back from the DOE or being punished and told your incompetent and your school is failing. So, you might imagine my relief in finding that my school got an A... that is until I read the fine print. Over 87% of all NYC public schools scored an A. 10% scored a B. C,D, and F had less than 1% each. Wow, we must be the most brilliant system in the whole world! But seriously, are you kidding me? Is this supposed to make me feel better? What about the parents? This is an outright lie and an outrage!!!! Now the higher-ups can sit around in their suits and talk about how great they are and run commercials about how they improved the public schools. It is sickening to me because I know what goes on in a so-called "A" school and we shouldn't be patting ourselves on the back, we should be working even harder because we as a system NEED to do better for our children.

It's starting to happen....again.

Even though we don't officially start here in New York until next week, I started going in to set up my classroom and get things organized. At first, I was actually happy to be back. It's always fun to go in early because lots of other teachers are there and everyone is relaxed. This year the school was especially clean. Even my rug got shampooed!!! There is a fresh coat of paint in all of the hallways and even my door was painted (yes, the one that used to shed paint chips all over the floor every time it closed). It was great catching up with everyone and I was actually happy to see my classroom.

I decided to set up my room differently this year and I have to say I am very pleased with the new layout. I was lucky to have inherited a large (some might say "cavernous") room that gets excellent sunlight through its large windows. I have nicer furniture than most and I'm the only one on my floor that still has the wooden doors on the cabinets that run along the entire wall. I actually went to a hardware store to finally get handles (which have been missing since I moved in) for these doors so I can actually open them this year. I still had 2 of the old ones, so I brought one with me. The guy at the hardware store said that they were probably 80 to 100 years old!!!!

Anyway, that's not really what this post is about. You see, I love setting up my room and getting ready for the children. I'm excited to get this year going, but I already feel this heavy cloud forming above me. I have always been a really hard worker and dedicated to improving my school. I have served on several committees, especially over the last 2 years and have worked really hard to design new programs, bring in outside resources, and more recently, hire staff to fill positions. I served on the hiring committee because I was worried about the future of my school and my students. After the school year had ended, our school hadn't hired anyone for our vacant positions (numbers were in the double digits) and the administration didn't seem in any way concerned about this. A group of teachers, including myself, got together and basically did the administration's job for them during the summer. We made them hand over resumes from open market. We sorted them. We made phone calls. We scheduled interviews. We interviewed them. We followed-up. All the administration had to do was officially hire them and enter them into the system. It worked. We got some really good people and were confident that we had done our best to help our school.

Now the black cloud. Our new hires have started trickling in this past week and I feel responsible for the well-being, even though that is not my job either. I am disturbed that they have no classroom assignments, no materials, and in some cases the curriculum is unclear. Here they are coming in early to try to get the year started off right and we have NOTHING for them. I almost feel guilty that I helped bring them here by serving on the hiring committee. Not that we misrepresented in any way what our school is about, it's just that our administration did not follow through with their part. I keep telling myself, "You are a first grade teacher, this is not your job." Why do I feel personally responsible that our 8th grade teachers have no Spanish as a foreign language curriculum (or that our new administration doesn't even know what Spanish as a foreign language is--- no joke!)? Or that the 7th grade science teacher doesn't know if her schedule will include blocks for labs or if she'll have access to the lab at all? Or that I don't know who the new 4th grade special ed. teacher's CTT partner will be? THIS IS NOT MY JOB!!!! Yet, I'm already feeling incredibly stressed about the whole thing.

I decided not to go in today, to take a day off and not even talk to anyone about school. I went to the laundromat to wash my table cloths and stuffed animals for my classroom and focus on what I can control, providing a quality education to my first graders. I'm going to continue my quest to find cabinet handles that will fit my hundred year old doors, and just relax. Tomorrow I'll continue the set-up and hopefully try to block out everything else. So sad.

Getting ready for a new school year

It's getting to be that time. I finished my summer job this past week and am enjoying a little bit of time off before the big day. Like many other teachers, my new year's resolutions start with the new school year. This year my goal is balance. I want to have a happy and healthy school year for myself and my students and in order to achieve this, I need to plan. Once school starts, my ability to think clearly is often compromised, so I have to start planning for mental and physical health before it all gets crazy. Below are my realistic goals. After four years of teaching in the NYC public schools, I have learned not to overshoot, because you'll just burn out.

1. Cook a healthy meal at least twice a week. I love to cook and I love eating healthy, but once school starts, I can't do it as often, so I think 2 times a week is reasonable. The other days I can put something together like a salad or veggie burger.

2. Bring breakfast, lunch, and snack to school each day. Yes, this is VERY important. It is so easy to eat unhealthy food, especially if your school is in an area where there is not much variety for buying your lunch. Every night before I go to bed (even when I'm too tired), I make myself pack these three meals. I realized the importance of the snack this past year. I was staying late and by the time I'd get home, I would be ravenous and would make a less healthy choice. I also find that getting to school really early and eating breakfast there helps me to focus and relax before the start of the day. You also save money and eat better.

3. No more committees. Over my last 4 years, I have been on countless committees and I am burned out for the time being. I am going to allow myself one study group and a book club, but no more pointless committees. Whenever I do this type of work I either find that I'm doing someone else's job for free, covering for someone else's incompetence, or working towards something that will never happen because the administration will screw it up somehow. So there, when someone asks me to sign up for something, I am going to say "no, thanks."

4. Work stays at work. I will go in early and even stay a little late, but I am not going to bring my work home with me unless it's something easy like making labels for reading baggies while I zone out in front of the TV, or blogging. This also includes the emotional baggage from work. I am going to try to be as aware as possible not to be venting to friends or family. Enough is enough, they are tired of it and they feel helpless when I tell them things, so I need to keep that kind of talk amongst trusted colleagues.

5. Take long walks. In the past, this has helped me immensely. It's free, so you don't have to pay for a gym membership, you get exercise, and you don't feel guilty if you can't do it. At least once a week (twice, when the weather is nice), I try to walk 60 blocks from my school to a subway station on my line. I find that it really clears my head and keeps me physically active. It also relieves the stress of the afternoon commute (since there is no transfer) and I get to see what other New Yorkers are doing. It's cool to see what's going on in the different neighborhoods I encounter across 60 blocks.

6. Get a good night's sleep. This is paramount for a successful year. You must be well-rested to have the patience and mental endurance it takes to care for, manage, and teach a class of children (of any age).

7. Don't neglect non-school friends. Just because my job is insane doesn't mean I have to alienate myself from my friends. I need their support and their perspective, as well as someone unrelated to school to provide a little bit of fun. Whether it's messaging them on facebook, or making relaxing plans (nothing too crazy, we still need our sleep!). I am going to make a big effort this year to be more social in small ways, remembering goal #4 at all times.

8. Don't stress about things that can be made easier with a little bit of money. I am a saver. I don't like to spend money on things that are unnecessary. So much so, that I would find myself stressing out about regular chores. Sometimes sending the laundry out or getting groceries delivered is just worth it. I'm not saying I'm going to do it every week, but I won't beat myself up about it if I just can't handle it.

Sound realistic?